Monday, August 15, 2011

From A Bride's Perspective...

Hi there - Lauren from Southern Aisle here!  When Erin asked me to take a look back at my wedding just a few short months ago, I was delighted to reflect on a few things I learned throughout the process.  One BIG thing planning my own wedding taught me was how to be a better wedding guest myself.  So, here’s a little run down of a few things that drove me completely bonkers as a bride and I have profusely vowed to never ever do again myself. Scouts honor!

Image via Minted

RSVP I get it. We’ve all had that moment when you’re sorting through your pile of bills and magazines and out slips an RSVP card you haven’t sent back…to a wedding you’re attending this weekend.  Ruh       roh!  Life gets hectic and sending back that little response card isn’t always on the top of everyone’s to-do list, but I cannot express to you enough how dire this is.  I promise it’s not just for the benefit of knowing who to expect on your big day.  The bride needs to be able to report her final head count to many other vendors and it could ultimately affect her budget.  I once heard of a wedding where 60 extra people who did not RSVP showed up last minute; nowhere for them to sit and no food for them to eat.  Talk about every bride’s worst nightmare!  Luckily this did not happen to us, but I did have to do my fair share of pestering a handful of unaccounted for guests. If you misplace your card, a phone call, email or airplane banner will also get the message across. ;)


Presents – This may sound picky but if at all possible, try to avoid bringing your present to the wedding.  By bringing it the day of the event, you run the risk of your gift getting lost in the mix.  It’s one more thing for the bride and groom or their parents to transport after the wedding.  And, if the bride and groom do not reside in the city where they are getting married, it further complicates the process of getting the items to their final destination.  If you absolutely have to bring it, make sure the card or gift tag is securely attached so the couple will know whom to thank.  We had a few gifts that by the time they reached our hands had been separated from their card.  I had to play detective for days until we got it all sorted out. When in doubt, ship it!

Face Time Everyone wants a little face time with the bride and groom.  After all, that’s the reason you are there; to show your love and support for the couple and give them your well wishes.  However, assess the situation before flocking.  For instance, when the bride and groom have just sat down to eat – probably not the best time to go interrupt.  Let them have a few moments of peace with each other and their (probably much needed) plate of food.  You can catch them on the dance floor later.  We personally tried to visit with and thank each guest for coming but inevitably missed some of our guests. And, if you aren’t able to get a little face time, do not be discouraged, I promise it’s not personal.  It’s just the way the wedding cookie crumbles – so many guests, so little time!

A big, big thank you to Erin for letting me pop over to A Lowcountry Wedding and share with all of you!  So, go forth and be a better wedding guest!


  1. Very good advice! Esp. the one about the RSVP!

  2. Sooo agree about all this...especially the presents part. I planned a wedding this weekend and we had to play "match the gift with the card" in hopes of keeping it all together for the bride/groom. Great advice on all this!

  3. Fantastic advice! Completely agree on the face time- I try so hard to remember this feeling from our wedding whenever we go to one, so important to let the couple eat :)

  4. I'm learning all too well about the RSVP's! It wasn't until I started planning my own wedding (coming up in 53 days!!) that I realized what a TERRIBLE guest I was in the past... bringing guests when i wasn't allotted one, not RSVPing, etc. I'm ASHAMED of how I acted as a guest... I just had NO IDEA! So now I'm begging and pleading with the Wedding Karma gods to not let all the bad guesting I did come back and haunt me now that we just sent out our invites!